RAISING BOYS IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM AND OUR RECENT SCHOOL DRAMA!!!!

Well, I have not blogged in a while, but this one should be pretty interesting and make up for it! We have our children in public school and recently had a situation occur with our seven year old son that would make any parent sick to their stomach! But before i go into the details, I just need to vent about some observations about raising boys in the public school system that we have noticed the past couple years. This will be a two part blog. The next one I do will tell all the drama we've been dealing with. OK, here we go.

Schools nowadays do not want boys to be boys, and if they behave like boys they then assume that something is wrong with them. Now of course their are children who do have problems and need medication, but we have heard numerous stories, especially with boys, where the child is very active like boys often are and the school wants to put them on Ritalin and label them with ADD or something. Now this is not what happened with our son, but there seems to be this mentality in society that boys should not behave like boys, but like girls. Yet people do not understand that God created boys differently then girls for his special purpose!

Modern secular society says that children are the way they are because of how they are conditioned by their environment. So give a boy, boy toys when he is little and he will gravitate towards those things, give a boy baby dolls and girl toys and he will develop a love for those type of things.

Well, these people obviously do not have children. I have two boys and a girl. When my oldest was three we were debating whether or not we should let him play with toy guns. Some boys in the neighborhood played with them and he wanted one. The poor child carried around a wood chip for 2 weeks and pretended it was a gun! He even made his pretzels into guns! And no, we did not let him watch anything violent where he would have learned this, other then observation of other boys playing. I gave in and got him one.

Now on the other end, my youngest is a girl and after having two boys, it has been so fun having a girl and she is sooo different. Before she was even two years old she was putting on my shoes and jewelry and pretending to be a little mommy to her dolls! And she definitely had her choice of guns, dinosaurs, and cars to play with having two older brothers. So, my point is boys and girls are different. We have come across this mentality on more than one occasion with our son who is now 7 years old and in second grade.

Now Obviously since Columbine, things have gotten a lot more serious in school when dealing with behaviors and possible problems. And they should be dealing with these things more seriously. The school district we are in has a Zero tolerance policy which basically says that they will not tolerate ANYTHING, even if your child just defended himself, he is at fault too! Another issue I have with this is that the school our son is in seems to think that they have the power to take away a child's constitutional rights if they think that there is any kind of possible threat to another child or to the school. And when I say threat, I mean it according to their definition, which could be ANYTHING!!!!! a drawing, something someone said someone said someone said, any kind of child to child conflict, as well as anything else. This is a problem! If this is already starting in our schools with our children, what is next? What if the government started behaving this way with our rights?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok, done venting. stay tuned as the drama unfolds and make sure every parent you know with children in the public schools reads this next blog. And follow me!!!!

Catching up

Hi everybody! I know I haven't blogged in a while. The summer had gotten busy lately. We had a family reunion to attend as well as a wedding, an army ceremony up at Fort Drum, a trip to my cousin's campsite, a big get together with old friends (that included all of our 16 children!), and I'm sure there's more that I forgot to mention. I also have been babysitting more which has been great for my kids! They love having people to play with. Soooooo I know I wrote a few blogs that were to be continued. But things have not gone as planned. Here is the sandbox update and the example prayer update:

Sandbox

I dug out the area for the sandbox and put some wood boards over top to keep the dog out until I filled it. Well, they are still sitting there and I have not filled it yet. Bryan decided he doesn't want me to put pea rock in it because he says the boys will get it all over the grass and he will have to mow over it. Valid argument, but I think it would be fine. I also figured that it will cost over 100.00 dollars to fill it with sand or rock, and right now, well, car repairs and rascal flatts tickets take precedent. Sorry kids! But it has turned out alright. Some frogs and toads have decided to make the sandbox their home and every day for the past couple weeks the boys have been going out there and catching them, and then returning them to their home in the evening. It has really kept them busy and entertained! Well, minus that one little toad that the dog ate! Poor thing! So for now we will keep it as a frog/toad habitat and then in the spring make it into some sort of sandbox for the kids. Oh, and did I mention I found a whole bin of sand toys for 3.00 at a garage sale?! The bin was even included! There must be 20 or more digging and scooping toys in there as well as multiple buckets and trucks! The kids have hauled alot of them up the hill in the backyard and have been digging in the dirt in our "woods" Yes they have gotten dirty, but the benefits of them pretending to be archaeologists and actually getting along for a good amount of time outweigh that. They have found lots of cool rocks and things.

Example Prayer


Well, things don't always go as I would prefer them to. The plan was to go over each part of the verse, but we made it through the first couple and then I ended up just doing the rest of it all at once and talking to them about it. I think they had a hard time taking the concepts of the prayer and making it their own. Domenic did try to incorporate it when he prayed, but he just said the words of the Lord's prayer. I believe he understood what he was praying and it was easier for him to just do that. However, the last thing I want for them is to just repeat mindlessly something that they memorized in prayer. I told him that he did not need to say those exact words, but what was in his heart. The first part of the prayer "....hallowed be thy name..." speaks of giving glory and praise to God, and both the boys did good at this. I helped them by talking about all the words we could use to describe God. Awsome, cool, powerful, loving, forgiving and kind are some of the words we came up with. Then, in prayer they worshipped Him by telling Him one of these things. It was so cute to hear them speak to God from their hearts. Here is an outline of the Lord's prayer that can help us and our children to know how God wants us to pray. Christ, in Matthew 6:9 says, "pray then this way" it says "this way" not "these words" It is meant to be a guide. God wants us to talk to him from our hearts, he cares about the details of our lives!

The example prayer

Matthew 6:9-13

"Pray then in this way....."

"our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name" (Give Glory and Praise to God)

"your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (Pray for God's will, not our own)

" give us this day our daily bread" ( Pray for our immediate needs, and for God's provision)

" and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" ( Pray for forgiveness)

" and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" ( pray to not be tempted with sin and for protection)

"For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever" (acknowledge his Godhead and submit to his control over our lives and over everything)

Well, thanks for reading. Now that I am all caught up, I have some other thoughts and Mom friendly ideas I would like to share! I plan on posting again soon! Love you all,
Shannon

Children put on your Respirators, it's time to play in the sand box!

SANDBOXES AND CARCINOGENS

So my most recent project is a sandbox for the kids. I have been working on digging it out the past week or so and am finally ready to start shopping for Sand. Well, little did I know how complex this would be! It turns out that the PLAY SAND that places like Home Depot and Wal-Mart have are labeled with carcinogen warnings! Seriously? And they label it as play sand? One label I saw even said, "Don't inhale without a respirator!" Ok kids, go play in your sandbox, but don't forget to wear your respirator! LOL! So basically any sand containing Silicates are harmful and sand containing Carbonates are not. I also learned that there are other things to be concerned about. If your going to have a sandbox it HAS TO BE COVERED!!!! I read a couple articles talking about racoon's doing their business in sand boxes and some sort of worm they can transmit to our children that causes disease and mi grains! Also, bacteria can grow and contaminate the sand if the children's hands are dirty or if they are eating in the sand box! There are a couple options available for safe sandbox's. Sterilized Sand is one option but it is hard to find. You can get some at http://www.safesand.com/, but it will cost you about 60.00 per 50lb. bag, which is a lot considering you will probably need about 200-300 lbs for an average size sand box. The option that I am leaning towards is not sand, but PEA GRAVEL. It is basically just a variety of tiny rocks. You don't really need to worry about animals getting into it, and it will not cause cancer, and you can get different sizes and types of rock. I am pretty sure that any landscaping company can deliver pea gravel right to your sandbox. You can also buy it at Lowe's or Home Depot. The smallest variety looks almost like sand. I am headed to Lowe's tomorrow and I will let you all know what I end up with and how much it cost me! For some good info on using pea gravel check out http://hubpages.com/hub/Geology-101-for-Toddlers I found a lot of good info here! Another Blog on toxic sand : http://livegreenmom.com/2010/04/sand-box-toxic/

LOVE,

Shannon

FAMILY UPDATE

Michael with the frog that he and Dom found in the backyard

Strawberry Picking

Relaxing in the backyard

Pool Time!!!

FAMILY UPDATE / July 2010

So I thought I would do a little family update of what has been going on around here lately. The kids are enjoying their summer vacation, and have already made several trips over to Gramps and Nanna's house to swim. Samantha loves the water and is already trying to "swim" (in her own way) Her hair is looking really blond lately, and it is actually growing and curly at the ends! Not at all what I pictured my little girl's hair to be like, but soooo cute!!!! Dom and Mike are sporting Mohawks for the summer! I made a deal with them that if they let me get some nice pics of them, then afterwards they can shave their heads, it worked. The silly band craze has hit our house also recently and the boys arms are decked with stretchy pigs, tools, fish, and any other thing imaginable! They have been fighting a lot lately and it has been driving me crazy! I have been trying to think of creative ways to get them to get along. The other day I decided that we were going to go to the store and buy water guns. They were still fighting, but fighting happily that afternoon! A good investment on my part for some sanity and peace ( inside at least!) Michael had his first dentist appt awhile ago!!!! He was soooo good and even whispered to me "mom, this is fun" when the hygienist stepped out for a sec! Samantha is still teething and I am wondering when she will ever get those last few teeth, but until then she will probably continue to try and chew everything, including bars of soap, candles, my lip gloss, dog food, random pieces of wood found outside, erasers, markers, crayons, play dough, and just about everything else! Oh yes, I cannot forget to tell you all about Soccer! Dom is DOMinating! this year! It is ridiculous and almost embarrassing at times. He really should be in the higher league but his birthday is in Sept. and they are strict about it! Ugh! He headed the ball the other night and then followed it though with a goal! Just about every time someone from the other team would get the ball and head towards the goal Dom would sweep in and turn it around, bringing it right back to score! Here's an example of borderline embarrassing (but yet proud!) parent moments Bry and I have been having lately! Everyone (even OUR coach!) is cheering for one of the cute little small boys on the other team who finally gets the ball and is headed towards the goal ahead of the crowd (mind you everyone is excited because this is rare!) Then comes Dom, from the other end of the field, flying by everyone headed for his target. All I am thinking is "Please don't knock him over! Please don't knock him over!" Well, he sweeps in and steals the ball turning it around. The little boy trips over his toes and falls and you can hear the sighs of parents as their hopes of a goal is taken from them..... What am I to do?! I have to cheer for my little soccer pro! It's ridiculous! Well, he played a great game that night! He is great at soccer, but I like that he is also kind. He never pushes or does things maliciously and he really does try to use teamwork. He passed a bunch of times tonight, and had some goal assists along with his goals (which I really didn't keep track of the exact #) Ok, enough about soccer. Some other things we have been up to..... strawberry picking, wild berry picking, visiting the Children's Museum, hitting the summer community sales, getting together with friends and fireworks! What have I been up to? Hmmm, I guess I have been enjoying our yard a lot this summer and have been making an attempt to grow some fruits and vegetables. We currently have Roma tomatoes, blackberry bushes, raspberries, grapes, blueberry bushes, red peppers, and strawberries. It looks like we will be getting a lot of tomatoes, but as for everything else, I am holding out hope for next year! A good friend told me a little saying about perennials, "First year they sleep, second year they creep, third year they leap" So in two years..... can't wait! I am really beginning to love gardening! I just picture the kids next year running around playing and snacking on all the fruits we will be growing! I have grapes growing next to the boys playground "Fort" and in a year or two they should cover it and make it look really cool! I know the boys will love it. I am also working on a sandbox for the kids. I actually just finished digging it out today so now all we have to do is get some sand. I was really excited last weekend when I found a whole storage bin full of sand toys for 3 bucks at a garage sale (bin included!) Well, Bry has been up to his usual stuff: Enjoying the Yankee's games and doing BJJ. He is now also teaching BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) at our church in a self-defense/fitness class. And then there's the furry child. Leo really thinks he is one of the kids and does everything with them. He was even in the kiddie pool with them the other day. Sam is his baby and she always lays on him on the floor and cuddles with him, it is so cute! He is very gentle with her and lets her pull his ears, bounce on him, ect... He is a great dog and we are blessed to have him! Sooooooooo that is about it. We are planning on doing some fun stuff this summer around here with the kids... Sea breeze, Red Wings, state fair, and maybe a short out of town trip. I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their summer! Keep in touch! Love u all! ~Shannon

"Dear Lord, Thank you for this food, spend time, good day, amen"

Sitting around my kitchen table at any given meal this is what you will hear as Micheal prays. It is precious and I will always cherish his little voice saying those same little words every night.

But.....

It has also bothered me that they think of prayer as just some words you casually repeat before a meal or before bed. Prayer is talking to the God of the Universe! So I have decided to focus their Bible lesson on prayer for the next week or so. Undoubtedly this is an area that I need to work on too! I do not pray as much as I should and I do not think I approach God with as much reverence as I should, me being made of dust and all, and he being well, GOD!

Jesus gave us an example prayer to pray. He didn't tell us to pray the exact words when we pray, but he told us "this then is HOW you should pray" (Matthew 6:9). So verse by verse I am going to take the boys through this prayer and show them how they can say a little more then "rub a dub dub, thank u for the grub" I am going to be working on it myself too. One of the amazing things about God's word is that it is just as applicable for a four year old as it is for a twenty-eight year old! So here we go!

Matthew 6:9

"this then is how you should pray, 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name..."

Lets keep this simple, 1. He shows respect "Our Father" and 2. He praises God "hallowed be your name"

The boys and I read this and talked about it and decided that we would work on saying one thing to praise God when we pray. Micheal prayed before bed tonight, "...you are awesome, and you take care of us..." Domenic prayed, " you are so good and powerful..."

I think That God wants us to pray in this way, not for his own benefit, but for ours. I mean, he is God, he knows how great his is! But when we acknowledge it to him and to ourselves, it prepares our heart to be humble as we approach him in prayer. I think that this is why it is at the beginning.

Work on prayer with us! Let me know your thoughts on prayer and Follow me! let me know that I am not just writing into the air! Love and God bless,

Shannon

I was "THAT MOM" with "THAT KID" !!!! (Our trip to the Library)

I had the motherly privilege of being "THAT MOM" with "THAT KID" the other day at the library. It is always a memorable and humbling experience. I know because I have been "THAT MOM" on more than one occasion over the past few years. LOL! It was a dark rainy day. A perfect day to go to the library. Michael hadn't been in a while so I told him as soon as he got up that we were going after breakfast. We got ready and headed out the door into the garage around 10:00. It was then that I realized that the stroller was in the other Car!!! Nooooo!!! I had already told Mike we were going. I couldn't back out now! Why did I sell that old umbrella stroller at the garage sale for 1.oo? What was I thinking? So we headed to the library without a stroller for Sam. She can walk, it couldn't be that bad right? Well, we got there and immediately she tried taking off and didn't want to hold my hand. I had to chase her down the aisles a couple times. We got the book I was looking for and headed to the children's section where we stayed for a while and where Sam roamed around, rode the wooden horse, ect..... when it was time to leave, she didn't want to go and started throwing a fit! I am at the counter with my books in one arm and Samantha in the other putting up a fight to be let down. Ugh!!! At least Mike was good. His rank has moved up. He has officially been replaced by a littler more rascally rascal. (One that bites! Yes, Heather, if your reading this, I got a biter!Lol!) I think he thought it felt good to be the bigger, "look at me mom, I'm being good" Child. I could see it in his eyes! Anyways, the nice librarian thought she would try to help and put a large bin of stickers on the floor for my kids to pick through. I was checking out my books and was just relieved to have her distracted for a sec. Next thing I know she has dumped the entire bin onto the floor! Mike is scrambling to help put them back. I had just finished checking out my books and there is a line of people behind me as I am bent down on the floor with Sam and Mike picking up stickers. Can we say embarrassing?!!!! So then the librarian comes around and tries to help. Sam is not happy about the stickers being put away or about me picking her up so she starts to kick and scream and flail her arms. Mind you we are in the Library, and Sam does not have a sweet little voice when she screams. Her scream is soooo much louder than I ever remember Dom and Mike's being! She screams and you think she is dying! Well, I hauled her butt out of there as fast as I could only to have the security alarm go off as I passed though the detectors!!! COME ON!!! SERIOUSLY??? WHAT ELSE?!! The Librarian nicely just told me to "just go, your having a hard enough time" LOl! THANK YOU!!! Oh, and to that Lady in the nice suit with the short blond bob and black glasses sitting in that chair giving me that look....... I would gladly rather be "THAT MOM" than no mom, and if you think my child is ridiculous or horrible, you obviously have never had children. They all have their Crazy Embarrassing Child moments. But the good moments far outweigh the bad. For all of you who don't have kids and don't understand... next time you see a mom having a hard time with her child, just go on about your business and ignore. The looks DO NOT HELP! And for all of you moms who have been there.... you will be there again soon so just

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.

Love,

Shannon

RAINY DAY IDEA: Continue the library fun at home. When we got back Mike and I made our own little library in the back corner of the family room. I used babygates and the toy box to section the area off and put a kiddie table and chair set in there with lots of books and to make it a cozy nook added stuffed animals, blankets, pillows, and a bean bag chair. The kids loved it. They sat in their little area looking at books alot that day and it was quiet because I told them you had to be quiet in the library! Even Sam was well behaved in her own little library! LOL!

A Conversation with Dom about Evil- The Cheerful Coffin

How do you talk to your kids about good vs evil? It can be a tricky subject these days. There is little on t.v. , in music, and in books that is pure and only good. Are we to throw out our tv, and ban all music? How can I teach my children to discern good vs evil for themselves so they are not just always relying on what I say? How Can I teach them to live in the world and know how to make wise decisions without me right by their side? These are questions I wonder about and am working through the awnsers to. I sometimes do want to just ban tv all together and other things as well, but I think a part of me is afraid to shelter the children to much for fear that they will rebel when they are a bit older and go off the deep end. I want their spiritual convictions to be their own. I want them to know in their own head and hearts the why's of right vs. wrong and good vs. evil. So far I have been teaching them that if something on t.v. appears evil, we aren't going to watch it. We have read the verse together that says, " abstain from every form of evil" (1 thes. 5:22) and another one I really like for the kids (short and easy) is in Psalms 101:3 which says, "I will set no worthless thing before my eyes" We read the verse and then we have a discussion about what it means and I try to relate it to their everyday life. The first time we read this verse and talked about it, Domenic asked me "well, is star wars evil?" (mind you this is his favorite show and game which he plays daily). I was like uhhhh. I didn't know what to say. They do harness powers that come from "the force" and not from God. Could we just say that "the force" is God? I really didn't want to tell him it was possibly evil, atleast the good guys anyways. Here is where you can see how I might be compromising, or "grey". I instead turned the question around and asked him what he thought. He said he thought it was evil and vowed that he would never watch it again. Ofcourse he was back to it the next day. Should I have told him he shouldn't watch it? Am I helping him compromise something he was convicted about? I don't know! from a young age with Domenic I have tried to point him to discerning what is right and wrong with what he sees. I would comment on a show if the charactors were having a bad attitude ect.. with the hopes that he would begin to recognize those things himself and think a little more about what he sees

Ok, so that brings us to the situation at hand. Sorry about the drawnout intro! I found in Domenic's lunch bag the Yu-Gi-Oh! card pictured above. I really know nothing about them, except from what I am seeing on the card, and to me, well, it looks a little evil (When I found the above pic online, it said that the original Japanese card had a cross on the coffin). I asked Dom what it was and he told me that his friend at school gave it to him and keeps giving them to him. I asked him if he knew what it said, he didn't know so I told him. Then I asked him if he knew what a coffin was. He didn't so I told him. You should have seen the look on his face. I then asked him if he thought that this was good? He awnsered, "No, I don't think so" with a tone of sarcasm and a raised eyebrow. I told him that he should just give it back to his friend at school that day but he had a different idea. He told me,"No way! I am tearing this into a million tiny peices and throwing it out" and he did. It was pretty funny, but I was proud of my little man! I really don't want him to just follow the crowd. I want him to think for himself and stand by his own convictions. Being a mom with the goal of raising my kids to follow Christ is hard. Kids don't really see grey like we allow ourselves to sometimes. It is black or white, good or evil. I need to be more like Domenic some days. He has a heart that is pure and undefiled by compromise and apathy. Christ said we need to become like little children and I am understanding that statement more and more as I raise mine.